Grantham Family Blessings from 2010

I asked the kids to help me make a list of all of God's blessings to us in 2010....  My heart is full. :)

1.       Daddy having a job

2.       Mommy getting a job

3.       Mommy graduating

4.       Having a Merry Christmas

5.       The dog getting a new bed

6.       A good summer

7.       Starting back to school

8.       Christmas Break

9.       Good grades

10.   Good pictures with Kiki

11.   Having a good year

12.   Reorganizing Breanna’s room

13.   Getting the touch and brush

14.   Having fun

15.   Healthy

16.   We had family come over

17.   Joseph didn’t have to get his finger pricked

18.   Delicious food

19.   A house

20.   Our Church

21.   Can worship freely

22.   Having family worship every night

23.   Making good friends at school

24.   Getting stuff that we wanted for Christmas

25.   My family

26.   Our neighbors are nice to us

27.   That we have a clean house

28.   Mommy being able to sharpen all of those pencils

29.   That we have the best Sunday school teachers ever

30.   That we can learn about the Lord

31.   We got Netflix back

32.   Watching Veggie Tails

33.   We had a good Thanksgiving

34.   Breanna getting really good books that she really likes

35.   The kids feeling better after being sick

36.   Jesus

37.   That God hears our prayers

38.   Going to Jeffrey’s house

39.   Jeffrey’s parents finding out where they were going to go besides Disney World

40.   Raybon’s growing up strong and healthy

41.   That Karis has been doing good

Hosea 10/6/10

In June of 2009, I began inductively studying God's Word with a group of women at my church.  God is faithful to continue that which He began in us, but when we submit by regularly seeking to know Him and obey Him through the study of His Word, our spiritual growth SKY ROCKETS.  Within the first week, I was experiencing freedom from specific strongholds that I had struggled with for as long as I can recall.

But, by June 2010, I was beginning to experience some pride.  I hate pride.  It's so ugly, rude, obnoxious, and self-seeking.  I had become somewhat desensitized to the sin I was still dealing with because it was a bit more subtle than it once was.

This summer, my bible study leader informed us that we were studying Hosea.  Hmmmm.....  Hosea.  Why not?!  Little did I know, the Lord had huge plans for me and Hosea.  This summer God took away any and everything that I found the least bit of comfort or security in.  He put me into SOOOOOO many circumstances that forced me to depend on Him.  He showed me that I am Israel.  He showed me that I am Gomer.  Here I had JUST stepped foot in the promise land and I was already saying "you are my god to the work of my hands."

Idolatry ALWAYS leads to bondage.  God showed me how SUBTLE idolatry can be.  An idol is ANYTHING we are looking to for satisfaction and fulfillment other than God.  Really.  I know that sounds a bit extreme, but it is so true.  Ugh!  What a DAILY battle!

Lord, I am desperate for You!  I need You more than I can even realize, let alone articulate.  Sweet Father, may I NEVER choose a god over THE GOD!  You are better!  Always, always, always better!!!

Thank You for Your patience with this Gomer.  Your love is better than life!!!!

You may or may not know....

1.  I HATE food noises.  HATE them.  Gulping, crunching, slurping, smacking, sloshing.... I hate it all.
2. Yellow is my favorite color. 
3. I love my grandparents.  They are/were amazing people.
4. When you spend our entire lunch date talking bad about everyone we know, it's going to be hard for me trust you. :-/
5. My children make me laugh everyday.  
6. If you think you are always right and rarely apologize to anyone, it is hard for me to love you.
7. I HATE coffee.  And dark chocolate.
8. I think it's so important to be able to laugh at yourself.....  I laugh at you all of the time.  You're really missing out if you can't see how funny you are.
9. I LOVE TO DREAM BIG!!
10. I think that, sometimes, cussing is funny. 
11. I LOVE people.
12. I was adopted when I was 9 weeks old.
13. I love Jay-Z.  A lot.
14. I have written a children's book.... Haven't tried to get it published, yet.
15. I religiously watch the Real Housewives of New York.  Love that show.  Don't know why.
16. Sammy was my first and last serious boyfriend.
17. I can remember most anything I read or hear, so be careful what you tell me. ;-)
18. I love the Beatles.... I've been to Liverpool.  And Abbey Road.  And I've seen Paul McCartney in concert, which was AMAZING!  
19. We don't have to be related for me to consider you family.
20. I am sensitive. :'(
21. 21 is my favorite number.

Wordless (Because speechless sounds cliche) :-)

Karis and her "Aunt" Anna

One of my dear friends, Katie Almy, has a beautiful 13 month old named Karis (which is Greek for Grace).  This past December, Karis was diagnosed with a disease call Krabbe.  Krabbe (crab-ay) is a horrible disease which effects the myelin sheath that surrounds the nervous system, inhibiting nearly all voluntary and much involuntary movements and functions of the body.  We hate Krabbe.

 There are many families affected by this disease in a variety of ways.  The good news is that in the last decade paramount discoveries and advancements have been made in the prevention and treatment of this disease.  We now know that if Krabbe is diagnosed at or before birth, the affected child can have a cord blood transplant which gives them the enzyme they need in order to halt the progression of the disease.  Sadly, the only children that are currently being screened are the siblings of affected children and babies that are fortunate enough to be born in one of the few states that tests for Leukodystrophies at birth.

This past week, I had the privilege of accompanying Katie and Karis to Symposium, which is a week long gathering of the Leukodystrophy medical and affected family community.  Symposium is in Buffalo, NY and presented by Hunter's Hope, a foundation that was started in 1997 by Jim and Jill Kelly after their only son Hunter was diagnosed with Krabbe.  Since my return, many have asked, "How was it?"  Honestly, I feel that I cannot yet answer that question.  I feel like saying something really dramatic like, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  I know that seems silly, but it really was!!

Balloon Launch

On one hand, I got to spend the week with two of my favorite people (Karis and Katie), reconnect with some of the most amazing people I know, and meet many more wonderful families and many of their incredible children.  On the other hand, about 80% of the families who attended Symposium have lost one (and many times more than one) child to Krabbe.  Some of those families have since had other children, and though they were affected by Krabbe, because of family history, were screened at or before birth and therefore were eligible to receive a cord blood transplant.  I must say, the difference between these children and those who had not received a transplant was astounding.

From my first day there, the tears began to flow.  My spirit was moved on so many levels.  First, I was so moved by the number of families there (including Hunter's family) who had lost a child.  Rather than burying the pain, or getting as far removed from it as possible, they were at Symposium, surrounded by children who reminded them of their own.  Their pain was palpable.  In fact, I asked several of them why they were drawn to be there.  It just seemed too difficult.  I was so moved by their answers.  "Because it means so much to be around people who understand."  "We HAVE to help!  We must do what we can to rid the world of this disease."  "I want to do what I can to raise awareness and keep others from having to experience this type of loss."

Trevor and his dad.

Then, there are the families with children presently affected by Krabbe.  Each child was in a completely different place. Some were transplant recipients, many were not.  They ranged in age from 13 months all the way to 13 years!!  Their families are hurting in a completely different way.  They are weary, and many are discouraged from the isolation they feel, from the hopeless words of their doctors, and from the way our society as a whole mistreats families such as these. 

It is very odd for me to feel completely incapable to articulate my thoughts and emotions.  Especially when I want to so, so badly.  As I have prayed through this, I believe that God is showing me that there are some experiences for which words are grossly inadequate.  As much as I would love to paint a perfect "word picture" for all who were not there, I just can't.  It was really and truly a "you had to be there" week.  REALLY.  But, what I can tell you is a little of what I learned from these amazing families and their children: to be grateful for each day, to love well and to make each moment count.  Life is precious, and the very things we often complain about are some of God's greatest gifts to us!

Sweet Jackson

I also want to encourage each of you reading this to take 10-20 minutes to educate yourself on Krabbe, Leukodystrophies and Newborn Screening by visiting www.huntershope.org.  Find out how YOU can be an answer to prayer for one of these precious families.

How could I be so forgetful?!?

I bawled my eyes out to Sammy last night. The past few weeks have been miserable for me. Through a series of challenging events and circumstances, I found myself in the midst of old habits and as needy as ever (in a bad way). Ultimately, I needed God to remind me that apart from Him, I can do nothing.

A very wise new friend spoke of how quickly we forget and it really resonated with me. She spoke about how the same people who saw Jesus raise Lazarus from the dead persecuted and ultimately killed the Son of God, and how the Israelites longed for the chains of Pharaoh after God had granted them freedom from slavery. As I heard her say these things, I realized that I was doing the exact same thing.

My natural state of sinfulness is a girl trying to earn God's favor, trying to "fix" myself rather than wholly lean on Jesus' name. I become insecure, paranoid, and just positive that I am the most hated person in the world. The month of June was FILLED with awkward, challenging, discouraging and even hurtful situations. Rather than bringing them to God and letting Him carry my burdens, I tried to carry them alone.

Before I knew it, I was rebuilding the walls that God has so graciously torn down. Vulnerability is impossible for me to accomplish in my own strength. In my flesh, I am very fearful of rejection and abandonment. I know myself too well to see any reason why anyone (including God) would love me or want anything to do with me. Like the Israelites, I was beginning to forget that although freedom is scary, it is so much better than the bondage of fear, insecurity, isolation, people pleasing, emotional eating, anxiety, and self reliance.

The past several days should have filled my heart with joy but because of all of the baggage I was toting around, I found myself feeling so very sad. Last night, God used my precious husband to remind me of the words that I usually say to him! That because of Christ, I am valuable and dearly loved no matter what anyone says, does or thinks about me. He reminded me of the huge victories God had granted over the past few days... I am so frustrating! Was I really in this place again? So inwardly focused that I can't even enjoy the enormous blessings that God has been so gracious to give? Ugh!

"God has chosen the foolish things of this world to shame the wise, the weak things of this world to shame the things which are strong...." This verse almost makes me laugh. I am so foolish and so weak, yet God has chosen ME! Paul says we can boast about our weaknesses, because power is perfected in weakness and Christ's power is dwelling in us!

Perhaps the way I have seen this most in the past six months is through the life of sweet Karis Almy. Diagnosed with a disease called Krabbe, I have watched this unbearably precious baby lose so many abilities that we take for granted everyday. Yet, she is the strongest person I know. Though she is in pain, she rarely cries. And what moves me the most about Karis is that cognitively, she is just like any other one year old, but due to the demyelination of her nerves, she can't use the body God has given her the way I know she wants to. But, she is so content. Her spirit is so sweet, so patient, so joyful. She is so "weak" by the world's standards, but Christ's power dwells in her, and it's unlike anything I've ever seen.

And what perspective that gives me in my struggles. Like Paul (and like Karis), I will be "well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." Lord, help me never forget!