I cannot believe you're 12. I'm too young to have a 12 year old! And, seriously, how is it even possible that you've been on this planet that long?
I remember so vividly our first few hours together after you were born.
Waives of love washed over me like I'd never experienced before.
I remember looking at your tiny hands and noticing how they looked like mine.
You were the sweetest, easiest baby.
I was, and have always been, so proud to be your mommy.
Those first few months until now feel like just a few moments.
And now, you're 12.
I think this feels so significant because 12 wasn't a good year for me, but it's also the first year of my life that I remember extremely well.
That's the year my whole life fell apart.
Starting with my parent's marriage. I'd never even heard them have an argument, yet, very suddenly they were on the verge of divorce.
People who should've never lied to me, lied.
There was gossip and lots of betrayal... All from adults.
I was so sad.
And I couldn't tell anyone why.
I know I'm no where near a perfect Mom, but please know that your dad and I are so committed to protecting you from a level of hurt and uncertainty that no child your age should ever know.
In just a few short years you'll graduate from high school. And some day, you'll move away. (Which is very rude, by the way). And maybe eventually you'll even have a little baby girl of your own.
So, before I blink and you're my age, there are a few things I want you to know... First,
You are loved.
More than you can imagine.
No matter what.
Yes, by your dad and me, but most importantly by God.
He loves you perfectly, unlike we do. He never says the wrong thing or has to say He's sorry. And because of Jesus, HE IS NEVER MAD AT YOU.
It's taken me my whole life to get that. Actually, I'm still getting it. I pray you don't ever doubt God's overwhelming, never ending, over-the-top love for you.
It changes everything.
Second on my list -
There's something in our souls that seems to question this...
Am I pretty enough?
The answer is YES.
You are an image-bearer of THE God of the universe, a daughter of the King.
He made You in His image, for His Purpose, His glory, His delight.
No human will ever convince you of this. We have to take God at His word, but I pray that you'll fight to believe this everyday of your precious life.
Lastly, I want you to always remember...
I'm so grateful for you.
Not everyone gets to be a mom. And even fewer get to have a daughter. But I'm the ONLY mom EVER who has the honor of calling YOU their daughter.
You are all together lovely -- most importantly inside, but also on the outside.
You have a grateful heart.
You're funny and smart.
You have a beautiful singing voice.
You're fun to be around.
You are a great shopping buddy.
You like the same movies as me.
But, I'm most thankful for the way I see God working inside of you. This past year, you've grown more and more Christlike. I thank God for this...
You're not perfect. But, you don't have to be! God is gracious! He made a way through Christ...
Thanks for making me a Mommy. And for just being you.
Let's be friends forever, OKAY??!!
WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME??!!!
Just kidding... Sorta.
Okay, but seriously...
I love you, Breanna!!